How to contact me

Smoke Signals
Pictographs
Passenger Pigeon
Pony Express
Telegraph
Steam Engine

Smoke Signals
Sorry, this method has been discontinued by modern progress. But if you watch my chimney, you can tell how cold it is.

Pictographs
Sorry, this is now illegal. Unless no one finds it for 100 years.

Passenger Pigeon
Your pigeon probably won't make it past the voracious gulls, and raptors in the area. In case it is intercepted, don't write your message in bird language. Don't include cash or birdseed either.

Pony Express
My mailbox is about 50 feet away from my house so I usually check this every day, but I get too much junk mail. Sometimes 3 credit card offers a day from Citibank. I send all of their business reply envelopes back asking them to stop. Maybe next time I'll send them an MBNA offer. I'm considering a restraining order.

Telegraph
Sorry, I'm on the do not call list. I get kinda ornery with telemarketers that call me anyway. Instead I should be really friendly and start asking them very personal questions. Or I could imitate some Monty Python skits, or start singing. That would be more fun, at least on my end. Did you know that you have to renew your name on the do not call list every couple of years? A loophole everywhere...

Steam Engine
I check my email every once in a while. Maybe twice a week if you are lucky. That would make email about as fast as a steam engine, depending on where you are. And you thought technology had gotten past that point. Nope, it is just more complicated and a little bit cheaper.

My Web Hosting provider (0catch.com) does not provide DNS services for email. This sucks. If you try to send an email to anything @ecomafia.com, it won't go anywhere.

I really don't want to post my email address here, since I had to close down my last email account due to excessive spam. No, that one wasn't Citibank's fault.

So, to figure out my email address, you need to solve a little puzzle. Each number corresponds to a single character.
1. What is the 7th letter of the alphabet?
2. What letter is in all months but four warm ones?
3. The first letter of the planet you are on. Yes, you.
4. An old fashioned expression of thoughtfulness (and slight surprise or intrigue), often seen on "Leave it to Beaver" (kinda like, "well,").
5. An expression of surprise or sudden insight.
6. What do pirates say?
7. Say it again!
8. What equals mc squared?
9. One, but in Roman numerals.
10. The shape (as viewed from above) taken by an unconstrained alluvial river.
11. The "at" sign. This one is a freebie.
12. A question that begins with a W. Por Que?
13. Pick number between 1 and 10. Multiply by nine. Add the digits together. Divide by 9. Your answer corresponds to a letter of the alphabet.
14. What year was the Pueblo of Los Angeles, CA founded? Take the third number in this year (corresponding to the decade). Your answer corresponds to a letter of the alphabet.
15. Letter that looks like a zero.
16. Another one.
17. Dot. This one is a freebie.
18. Letter that sounds like you are saying "yes" in Spanish.
19. Circle.
20. Second Sunday in May is what day? The first letter of the first word.